k, i'm downright CERTAIN that no one is reading this, so i guess it will become my own personal journal.

I'm SICK and TIRED of feeling like my body is about to fall apart. i'm laughing one minute and bursting into tears the next...and always with the constant cloud of anxiety weighing over me. What is UP with that?! i figured things were going good with Doug and me now so i went over there to hang out and ended up crying in his arms because i had another panic-stricken, heart-pounding, fear-encompassing...you get the picture. and the STUPID PART is that we were watching a black and white comedy at the time. if i didn't know any better i'd think i was pregnant (but this is impossible seeing as i've never had sex in my life)

God, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!! why is my life surrounded by fear and trepidation?

I need my independance, i need to move out, i need FREEDOM to figure this stuff out and become an adult. Dori's right, if i were to get my own place for a little while i think a lot of my anxiety over being able to make it on my own would pass. but now i have to try to find a place...Lord, can you help with that?!